Archive for May 2007

Stupid Heroes, Stupid Villains

I really liked Heroes when it first aired, but it really went downhill. If there is one thing that annoys me, it is when the protagonists win despite behaving really stupidly or only because the villain is stupid.

Peter is disappointing. He went to Texas to save the cheerleader, when as far as he knew, he had no powers when he wasn’t around someone that did. And, he saw a future painting of his own death. But he went anyway.

Now he has the most powers of anyone, but he needs his big brother to help because he’s such a wuss.

When he faces Sylar, does he turn invisible? Does he use his own power of telekinesis? Does he stop time? Nope, he stands there.

When Niki finally is useful for the first time in the whole season, what happens? She wallops Sylar good, and all she has to do is hit him one more time, just one time and he’s dead. But Micah yells that DL needs her, and Peter, the dope, says “go ahead, I’ve got this.” What?!

In the time it took to say that, it could have been over. So then Peter still doesn’t use any powers, even the super-strength he should now have from Niki.

Hiro is finally useful, despite having the most powerful single power of all. He still doesn’t stop time (because then there would be no show) but at least he stabs Sylar. Does he then cut his head off? Nope.

Nathan flies in and takes Peter away before he goes Nova. Too bad nobody tried just knocking him out. Where is Niki? She had to leave the fight with Sylar so she could hold her husband’s neck!

I don’t know why anyone thinks Nathan is dead. He could easily have flown high, let go of Peter and flown to safety. Peter won’t die either from the nuclear thing, or from the fall.

The crowning stupidity of all: Bennett doesn’t make sure Sylar is dead. He’s attacked Bennett’s wife, said he planned on killing Claire, and Bennett’s prime motivation at this point is protecting his family. He killed his former boss and severed all ties with the company, so why wouldn’t he go pump some bullets into Sylar’s head?

So naturally, Sylar is still alive, although perhaps instead of crawling away under his own power, he could have been dragged into the manhole by the “even worse” person Molly is scared of. DUN DUN DUN!

Oh, and when Candace got knocked out and her illusions vanished, why did she still look like she always has? Previously she indicated that she was really huge. Bad continuity.

I guess I’ll watch next season, if I have any free time which I probably won’t, what with the baby on the way. But I lost real interest a long time ago.

It’s the same problem on Star Trek: they give the heroes all these abilities, but they are so powerful that there couldn’t be any conflict, so they have to nullify their abilities. But that’s very hard to do, and so they don’t do it well. If Hiro now has such fine teleportation control that he can pop in, pop across the room, grab Ando, pop to their office, etc, then he should be able to stop time and execute Sylar without any problem.

Ando is the real hero here, anyway. He has no powers, no chance of success, but he tries to stop Sylar anyway, to save millions of people.

Claire is just a teenager so I cut her some slack for not acting sensibly, but where is everyone else’s excuse?

Why didn’t Mohinder hit the guy with the gun instead of Parkman?

Boy, New York sure is empty at night, isn’t it?

Remember Claire’s friend? We sure never saw him again.

Peter seems to have forgotten all about Simone until now. Remember when she was an important part of the show?

Sylar isn’t the smartest guy. Why didn’t he kill Bennett? You’d think he would have.

At least they did give the show an ending of sorts. But it did seem pretty low-budget to me.

Advice to Expectant Fathers

Do not poke your pregnant wife in the belly and say “tee hee” like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

It doesn’t go over well.

Yes, I know it was just a joke. I know you were poking the baby, not her. You weren’t calling her fat. She’s not fat! It’s a baby!

None of that matters.

Trust me.

Cruel Letter to My High School Trigonometry Teacher

Mr. J——,

I do not believe that this letter will do any good whatsoever, because you will never change your ways, no matter who tells or how logically they present their arguements. First of all, you give too much Homework. But you already know that. You think everyone else’s lives are as dull and meaningless as yours, so you expect them to have no life other than math. Next, you don’t give us time to study or start the HW in class because you spend too much time telling asinine stories and making idiotic gestures during your “lectures.” I know your entourage of butt kissers (Tony —–, Dawn —–, Katie ——-, and others) encourage you, but don’t take it out on the rest of us. I don’t really need or desire to know about (1) your trashy car (2) Your pimple on your nose (3) lewd and lascivious pictures of you with students (4) Anything else you’ve said which I have blocked out of memory. Also, you waste time like you lived forever: Jumping up & down demonstrating a “hyper”bola, writing 22 examples of words with the prefix “para” (3 would have been sufficient). You treat the class as if we were all morons like yourself. You don’t need to spend 15-20 min explaining yourself that 1 = sin 3 1/sin = 3. 3-4 min would have been fine. Also, we are daily infuriated by your ridiculous names for formulas & such. You must want us to look like idiots in college saying “meaning of life”, “Freddy Krueger problems”, “Party Formulas”, and all your other stupid nicknames. Stop being so condescending to our intelligence. We’re obviously quite a bit smarter than you were in High School (you admitted it.).

Also, I don’t think I deserved the same snide treatment as those who habitually came in late. I was late 3 or 4 times, maximum, always because the bus was late or some Other reason beyond my control.

Also Write Bigger On The Board!! Those that are smart enough to sit in the Back so they don’t have to be any closer to you than possible, can’t see the Board. Don’t write in Red pen! It is invisible.

In conclusion, I want you to know you have most likely ruined math for me and probably everyone else you have ever taught. We will need extensive physcological treatment to overcome the damage you have inflicted. You don’t deserve to be in the teaching profession. You should join government as a hostage negotiator. You could have annoyed Koresh into giving up. Finally, for the future, don’t waste so much class time!

In disgust,

[DCB]

P.S. Since I don’t believe in taking human life, I’ll give you this warning: A number of students have been plotting your death. Watch your back.

(This was transcribed from a handwritten letter to my 12th grade Trigonometry/Math Analysis teacher. He made everyone write him a letter at the end of the year. Mine was quite accurate, but mean-spirited, so I never gave it too him. I have a tender heart.)