Insulting the baby!

My little Demon Clown Baby was born in July. She has kept us quite busy.

I’ve never been interested in babies before. Mostly they’re rubbish, I’ve always thought. Mine’s neat though. What I find fun is to insult her. Do other parents do this?

When she cries, I tell her to shut her milk-hole.

She’s got a ton of nicknames: jerkface, poopy girl, scumbag #4 (the cats are 1, 2, and 3), whiner, burpy, and milkface, among many others.

If she cries while I’m changing her, I inform her that nobody loves her. I make fun of her for being bald and toothless.

It’s all done in a very loving and soothing voice. My wife is just as bad as I am, too, in case you were wondering.

One of these days we’ll have to curtail this, when she starts to understand language.

But for now it sure is fun.

Reddit it | Digg this | Stumble It | add to


  1. amanda:

    ur [expletive deleted] if u think SIds is funny u dumb girl …… its funny at all and i dont u deserve to have a kid……

  2. Sharda:

    Lol yeah i do the same thing kinda. I’m 17 with a 2 year-old son and i call him all kinds of names like fat boy, noise maker, poopy man, fat face, and pooh like pooh bear. It’s funny to make up names for him, and he just loves it. Pooh is a personal name only I use.

Leave a comment