Archive for the ‘baby’ Category.

We have the best baby ever.

Wife: I don’t think other people love their babies as much as we love ours.
Me: Or if they do, they have less reason to.
Wife: You’re such a creep.
Me: How is what I said any more creep-ish than what you said?
Wife: I said it first.

1 Year Old!

I just want to say that my daughter is one year old this month and is the cutest baby in the entire universe, and everyone else’s baby is rubbish in comparison. Thank you.

Baby April Fool’s

Me: Whoa, come quick!
Wife: What is it?
Me: The baby just stood up all on her own! I let go and she was just standing balanced for a few seconds!
Wife: Wow, really?
Me: No. April Fool’s.
Wife:

I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I guess it came out that.